Hinge

This was a post I started a little while ago, but didn’t get to finish. Thought I’d get it done, and share it with you now. 

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…I discovered that it is not on our forgiveness any more than on our goodness that the world’s healing hinges, but on His. When He tells us to love our enemies, He gives, along with the command, the love itself.~ Corrie Ten boom. 

I love that wisdom from Corrie. She has  such a deep love for people.

It was also something I needed to hear today. On this day. My brother’s birthday.

I’ve posted about him before here and here.

You may be wondering how the above quote relates to my deceased brother. It struck me that after everything She had been through, Corrie Ten Boom was used powerfully for the Gospel, even amongst those she didn’t think she could love.

Sometimes we can be so wrapped up in our sorrow and grief, that it feels like we cannot move on. That every breath, every song, every place, every colour, every scent, is a reminder of the one we lost. We can’t put to rest those memories that swirl and teeter and jumble in our minds.

Sometimes we think, If I could just let go, if he would just say sorry, if only I could forgive…and then I’ll be able to move on. It’s easy to let Walls to our healing build. I think it’s human nature to want other people to feel our hurt. I spent a long time dwelling on my brother’s death. Even though it occurred when I was young, I would deceive myself into thinking ‘If it hadn’t happened, It would be so much easier’ ‘If only that person would understand how sad I’m feeling, I could get over this’ ‘If only I could forgive..’ But it wasn’t my ability to forgive, or acceptance of his death, or the good people that surrounded me that made me heal. It took me a long time to realise, it wasn’t about me at all.

That’s the problem with grief, it can turn us inward, make us focus on ourselves, until we fester, brood, become bitter. I remember, going to a women’s talk one time at my church when I was a teen- I went as a helper pouring tea, slicing cake, plopping jam and cream on scones.  I don’t remember who it was or who went, but I remember the speaker’s words. “There are worse things than death. We always make it the end, but God makes it the beginning.” Really???? There are worse things than someone dying?  I could not believe what I was hearing.

But she had a point. Healing did not come about from anything I said, did, got, or felt. I did not control ANYTHING in my life. The Sovereign Lord of the Universe, sustained everything and everyone by his hand.  He could give, he could take away. He could heal. He could renew. It was HIS plan. Not mine.  Everything revolved around HIM. Not me. His love, His grace, His healing, His justice. It all comes about because He wills it. Suddenly, I could put my healing in perspective. It comes because He wills it. And he gives the grace and faith and trust in Him, to move forward.

WOW. Mini explosions in my brain! And then I realised. If He willed it, nothing I could do could stop it. My healing is His plan.  Your healing is His plan. We just need to stop and notice the hinges holding our lives together. It doesn’t mean you’ll never feel that twinge of sadness, or regret. We are not machines devoid of emotions. It does mean, we should always turn to the one who sustains our very lives, and know it is not, about us. But about Him.